While researching these myriad unusual laws, I noticed a
trend – they mostly applied to the roads, animals, food and drink, women, and “Blue”
laws that regulate activity on Sundays. I don’t really know why or what to make
of that, but I categorized them as such, and added a few categories for the
bizarre and scary, and even laws that are actually good ideas and should be
enforced!
Laws involving animals:
Citizens of Farmington, Connecticut have to share the road
with cows because they have the same legal rights to use the roads as
motorists.
In Montana, if you guide sheep onto a railroad track
expressly with the intent of injuring the train, and the conductor ends up
being harmed, you can be charged a $50,000 fine and up to five years in prison.
California has a law on the books that dictates a frog that
dies during a frog-jumping contest can’t be eaten. The law originated from
health codes enforced around the annual Frog Jumping Jubilee in Calaveras
County.
You can’t snap a photo of a rabbit without a permit from January
to April in Wyoming.
In Alabama, it’s a Class B felony to purchase, possess, or
train a bear to wrestle.
If you’re walking your elephant around in Orlando, Florida
and it wants to rest in one place for a while, you’re expected to deposit coins
into the parking meter just like it was a motor vehicle.
In Norman, Oklahoma, it’s illegal to tease dogs by making scary
and ugly faces.
Alaska has made it illegal to tie your dog to the roof of
your car.
Laws about food and
drink:
North Dakota bar owners can’t legally serve beer and
pretzels at the same time.
In Gainsville, Georgia, you’re not legally allowed to eat
fried chicken any way but with your bare hands.
Indiana has a great law on the books that prohibits
attending a public event or using public transport if you’ve eaten onions or
garlic within the past four hours!
In that same state, liquor stores can’t sell chilled water
or soda, but can sell soda at room temperature.
Although federal prohibition of alcohol was repealed in
1933, Kansas outlawed alcohol sales and consumption all the way until 1948.
Even today, each county has the latitude to prohibit the sale of alcohol in
public in venues where 30 percent or less of their gross income comes from food
sales.
Laws of the road:
It’s illegal to drive down the road with an uncaged bear in
your car in Missouri.
Likewise, in Massachusetts it’s illegal to drive a car while
there’s a gorilla in the back seat.
In Alabama, they decided to turn the most base common sense
into a statute, making it illegal to drive with a blindfold on.
In West Virginia, motorists can collect and eat any road
kill they hit.
Swearing out loud while driving a car is a misdemeanor in
Rockville, Maryland.
In Galesburg, Illinois, bicyclists are legally prohibited
from “fancy riding.”
Glendale, California residents will be breaking the law if
they jump from any car that is traveling 65 mph or more.
In Oklahoma, you’ll be arrested if you’re caught reading a
comic book and driving a car at the same time.
“Blue” Laws:
In Rhode Island, it’s illegal to sell toothpaste and
toothbrushes to the same customer on Sundays.
It’s illegal to eat candy less than half an hour before
Sunday church service in Salem, West Virginia.
In the town of Winona Lake, Wisconsin, they made it illegal
to eat ice cream at a counter on Sundays.
Even worse, you can’t eat cherry pie a la mode on Sundays in
Kansas.
Dog owners in Hartford, Connecticut can’t take their pets to
obedience training on Sundays.
There is actually a law on the books in Florida that
prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sundays!
Laws attempting to
regulate female conduct:
In Cleveland, Ohio, it’s still technically illegal for women
to wear shiny patent leather shoes in public.
Women in Florida can be fined for falling asleep under a
dryer in a hair salon.
Even more ridiculous is a law in
Michigan that says a woman’s hair technically belongs to her husband, so she
has to get his permission before changing her hairstyle.
Women in Pittsburgh who sweep dirt
under their rug when cleaning could be subject to a fine.
In Memphis, Tennessee, a law
mandates that a woman can’t drive a car unless a man is in front of the car
waving a red flag as a warning to other motorists.
Laws that maybe we
should start enforcing again:
In North Carolina, it’s illegal to sing off-key in public.
Any motorist entering Washington D.C. who has criminal
intentions is mandated to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of
police with the news.
In Hawaii, commercial billboards are outlawed on all islands
with only 18 exceptions, part of their urban beautification initiative from
1927.
Academic fraud committed by selling a term paper, essay,
dissertation, etc. at any education facility in Connecticut illegal.
In Iowa, if you serve or sell margarine and claim it’s
butter you’re committing a misdemeanor.
In Michigan, adultery has been a felony since 1931, which
can land you in prison for up to four years and a $5,000 fine.
Even better, any male over 16 years of age in South Carolina
who seduced a woman by falsely promising to marry her can be charged with a
misdemeanor and do up to one-year jail time!
Laws that are just
plain weird:
It’s illegal to sell your own eyeballs in Texas.
If a man in Idaho gives his fiancé a box of candy that
weighs more than 50 lbs., he’s breaking the law.
In Eureka, Nevada, it’s illegal to kiss a woman if you have
a mustache.
In Paulding, Ohio, policemen may legally bite a dog if they
think the dog is a threat and it will calm the animal down.
North Carolina residents who want to play Bingo may run into
some legal problems, as games are restricted to five hours, only once in any
48-hour period, and for no more than a $500 prize.
In Washington State, you’ll be arrested and fined if you
harass Bigfoot.
It’s spelled out in the New Mexico state constitution that
idiots can’t vote in state elections.
Scary laws:
In Arizona, cutting down a cactus can land you in prison for
25 years.
In Louisiana, Jambalya prepared in the traditional manner
for sale to the public – which means on an open wood fire – isn’t subject to
sanitation regulations, health or safety codes.
In Virginia, there is still a law in existence that makes it
illegal for any couple to have sex unless they are married, resulting in a
Class 4 misdemeanor.
Of course cannibalism is illegal in Idaho, punishably by up
to 14 years in prison, but there are lawful exceptions on the books in the case
of life or death situations.
In Reno, Nevada, it’s illegal to place a bench or chair in
the middle of the road.
In Florida, dwarf tossing is illegal in commercial establishments
where alcohol is sold. It’s terrible they even need such a law, but what’s most
scary is that a Florida state legislator tried to repeal the law in 2011 but
wasn't successful.
In Marshalltown, Ohio, horses are prohibited from eating fire hydrants.
It’s amazing there isn’t a long line of trains stuck at
every junction in Texas because a nonsensical law states: "When two
railroad trains meet at a crossing, each shall stop and neither shall proceed
until the other has passed."
